my name is gordon and im taxaholic

Gordon brown is the latest person to enter the taxaholics room for the last 10 years when he was the chancellor of the exchequer , he admits to having a little obsession with taxes . He admits there might have been the odd stealth tax , the odd bit of tax on fuel , alcohol and cigarettes , but ya know he says im here to become a changed man . Now that im prime minister and all , it might be a bit hard well taxing everyhing which moves . So really im here to change myself and become a better person .

OK GORDY --the head of the taxaholics person says lets here your tax and woe story .

Gordon then precedes to go ahead . He says to the rest of the attendees at the taxaholic anoymous club , im really sorry this may take a long time , there was so many tax increases in so many different areas , that well i dont really know where to start

Another tax anoynmous attendee shouts out HOW about the beginning , and then you can all tell us the heartwarming tale , of how you took more and more of our money as taxes .

Then the head of taxaholics person says --now now everyone deserves a fair chance lets hear gordy speak how long do you reckon you'll be gordy

GORDON BROWN : oh you know just the small matter of 1-2 days , not really that long for me i mean im used to waiting, after all i wanted to be prime minister for ten years . it's about time someone else had to wait apart from me

HEAD OF TAXAHOLICS : sorry gordy but this meeting only lasts for 2 hours -- how about the edited highlights

GORDON BROWN( in droning voice ) -- well it all started in may 1997 when New Labour won the election and i became chancellor of the exchequer. well you see in my ten years in power there was a slight raising of the tax burden . it kinda increases from a manageable 39.3% of total GDP to around well 42.2% .

HEAD OF TAXAHOLICS : Forgive me gordon because well im not really versed in economics , especially in taxes who pays for taxes ?

Gordon(stumbling political talk) well err , errm i dont know quite how to break it to you , but it's quite hard to explain and you know it's really not that important who pays for taxes + those tax increases --

ANGRY TAXAHOLICS ANOYMOUS PERSON: I forgot politicians never give a straight answer to a straight question ladies and gentleman we pay for Gordy and his tax rises ..

HEAD OF TAXAHOLICS : so gordon how have these tax increase as your time as the chancellor of exchequer how did you spend them -- you know the first sign of coming to terms with your illness is admitting to the damage your actions caused to others

GORDON(Solemn): well i gave a lot of money to the NHS , in fact for the first 4 years between 1997 +2001 there was a 7% increase in spending , the problem was the money wasn't spent a lot on frontline services , but we did get a shiny tier of new management and a lot more targets you know quite important stuff really .

OTHER TAXAHOLICS PERSON : I still dont undertand though how did all that help us

GORDON(CONFUSED) Well im not sure really , you see i just thought you had to throw money at a problem and hey presto it'd be solved i didn't know you had to specify where that money would go --sorry guys i guess that was a bit of a bulls up on my part .

TAXAHOLICS PERSON: Ok Gordon go ahead

Gordon Brown: Im really sorry guys im going to have to go , i forgot i never say sorry

Chorus from the back of the Meeting : RESIGN GORDON!